December 22, 2007
yesterday…
i reached home at around 5.40pm…
and then i started to let out and cry…
i cried and cried, on and off, for the next one and half hrs…so tired that i went to lie down on my bed at around 7pm…
there is so much heartpain inside me…
the pain keeps gnawing at me…
i dunno why these feelings come back to haunt me again…
it’s painful…it’s really so painful…
December 21, 2007
didn’t feel good today…and still dun feel good now…
maybe i am still deceiving myself…
September 9, 2007
September 7, 2007
当一碗好好的麦片被倒洒在地上时，无助感顿时涌上心头。好难受。
August 17, 2007
回来后，精神上支离破碎，蒙上了阴影…and…i HATE sandflies!
June 29, 2007
this time last year, it was roughly around the semi-finals period…
this time last year, he was busy preparing and practising hard for the tough competitions ahead…
this time last year, i enjoyed catching his nice moves and superb dance steps…
this time last year, i probably still trying hard to capture each and every close-up through the many cameras, including his…his big smiling face…and i always thought i never captured enough of his, becos he was always positioned at the side of the stage, which made it quite a hard angle to capture…i liked his smiling face, becos it looked good through the camera…i liked big close ups of such spontaneous faces…
it’s really sad, sad to know that a young and still have a good future man just went away like that…
有什么是想不开的呢？
there are people who are like that, happy-go-lucky on the front, but pessimistic and lonely deep inside…the true self being hidden behind the front…自己若过不了自己那一关, 就永远都不知将来等待着自己去发掘的事情了…
there are a lot of things one has to face, a lot of disappointments one has to experience, but SUICIDE is never one that should be considered…life is hard, but life is as such…
i really believe in fate, but i also believe in how u choose to handle your own fate…
fate is a vague and funny thing, it actually waits for you to make the different choices and decisions to mould it into the ultimate reality…and then it becomes your life history…
it’s disheartening to hear such a piece of news…really disheartening…
June 4, 2007
i am actually not quite in a good mood today…but i am still able to smile and chat with colleagues…yes, that’s not the real me…
i am tired…of what exactly, i can’t really pin-point…
a tarot reader once told me before, that there is this “responsibility” element in my life that weighs heavily on me…how true is that! and also i am always worrying about money…how so true is that too! the “freedom” element is significant in my life too, but it is defeated by the “responsibiliy” element…
i am tired…i always been wishing that i am not the only child… that i do not need to put the whole burden on top of myself…that i can sometimes be really wilful, no need to care or worry about any consequence behind each of my action…
for like almost 20 years…yah…20 years since primary school, i have been worrying about responsibility, about money…i had been misunderstood by some people…whatever…people had asked me why i think so much…whatever…i am careful about myself becos i have someone to 交待 to…anything that has the possibility of bringing “harm” to me, i avoid…becos i have someone who depends on me…
i remembered when i went to the build-a-school expedition 8 years ago…i worked hard on any work that was on the ground, but to climb up the rooftop, i avoided, becos i did not want to fall down accidently…and people asked why i did not have the courage to go up onto the rooftop blah blah blah…becos i worry, yes, i might be worrying too much, but i had to be sure nothing can happen to me, becos there is still someone depending on me…
can i just throw everything and anything else aside? it’s impossible…just like what the tarot reader had said…if i had wanted to ignore the “responsibility” element in my life, i would have done so already…
it’s quite tiring sometimes, how i wish i am not alone to carry such a burden…i recalled the lunch gathering that took place yesterday, and everyone at the table, everyone else has siblings except me…
i dunno why i am so emotional…maybe my hormones working on me, maybe becos my menses are due in a week’s time…
January 24, 2006
能带我的心到你的世界吗?
也许你的心在我的世界边缘游荡…
December 26, 2005
December 22, 2005
相对来说，男方疼爱女方深一点还是比较好的。
对，因为女方始终还是会希望有被幸福所包围的感觉，而如果是女方爱得比较深，就会有种较缺憾一点的感觉吧？但反过来说，因为她知道她有男方如此的爱意，因为幸福，她就会很自然地对男方也产生更深的情意了。
